Growing up I drew upon every ounce of masculinity I had and was known for hating all things feminine. My family members had to fight to get me into any form of women’s attire. I hated make-up, kept my hair either really short or in a ponytail, and wore my clothes two sizes too big. Now, half of my wardrobe consists of dresses, skirts, and heels, I can put on lipstick without wincing, and I’m always wearing a truckload of jewelry. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a fondness for Chuck Taylor’s, action movies, video games, comic books, and the like, but I’ve balanced out the various sides of me.

Flowers now hold a special place in my heart. I’ve always been a bit of a nature kid. I love going for hikes, I run in the various metro parks of the area, and like I said in a previous post my idea day would be spent outdoors reading a book. I spend a lot of time photographing flowers. This might be because my mom has an amazing green thumb so our house was like a jungle growing up, or a bit of my feminine side forcing its way out. Personally, I have a hard time keeping the herbs I cook with alive. If I want some flowers, I go out and buy some, slap those babies in a vase, and go about my day. But I do love them.

I’m not fond of roses though. I think they smell weird and are overrated. My idea flower is a lily. I would prefer the Calla Lily above all others. There is just something about that sleek, white flower with its long green stem that made me fall in love with it. I’ve actually never been gifted flowers before by a significant other or an admirer, but if I ever was lilies (especially calla lilies) would send me straight to cloud 9.

Accepting this side of me has been a very long and tedious road. I always associated femininity with superficiality in a way. I never cared about my looks. As long as I didn’t smell, my clothes weren’t dirty, and my hair wasn’t disgusting, I really didn’t care. Ironing was a waste of time in my eyes, especially if hanging out outside was on the agenda. I’ve now learned that my view was definitely flawed. There is nothing wrong with being feminine. In fact, there is a sort of power in it.  People are always judging you by the way you look. How you look is the first thing that people see and that first impression is everything. I learned quite a bit about this due to pursuing a degree in communications. The way you dress and how you present yourself could be the difference between getting the job you want or even getting a date with the person you like.

(I created this piece several years ago for a Color Theory class I took)

I’m not exactly sure how this post went from accepting a part of myself to presenting yourself well, but I believe that all of that information is important.  I guess I’ll cap all of this off with this quote:

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Until next time loves,

-M.A.